Message to Clients
Thank you for having the courage to explore this website. You may believe at this moment that what you’re dealing with cannot be fixed. It can be a hopeless and scary feeling to be lost in sexual addiction.
We understand because we’ve been there.
At the Sexual Integrity Project, we help sex buyers who want to get well to overcome their addiction and with it, their sex buying behavior. Our mission is threefold:
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Advertise and network through the legal community, law enforcement, churches, and other organizations to find sex buyers who want to get well.
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Subsidize, customize, and guide their healing journeys to include faith-based advice, group therapy, individual counseling, and a variety of recovery programs as necessary to gain sobriety.
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Finally, as a result of their strengthened relationship with Jesus Christ and the connection to and mentorship from other similarly affected men, help them achieve lifelong freedom from their sexual bondage, and in so doing, erase their future sex buying activity from the face of the earth.
Evaluating the Cause
You may not even be sure you have a problem. We get that, which is why we have four tools in the “SELF EVALUATION” section of the website to help you make that determination: the Sexual Addiction Screening Test, the Love Addiction Evaluation, the Anger Test, and the Post Traumatic Stress Index. The files for each of these tests are downloadable on purpose so you can fill them out off-line in private.
We find that many buyers addicted to sex suffer from what is called an intimacy disorder. This condition can occur when one or more of the following experiences have occurred in the life of the buyer: feelings of neglect or abandonment as a child, growing up in a rigid household where expressing their feelings was not allowed, feeling like love was something to be earned – performance based, one or more severe emotional traumas, or a multitude of non-severe emotional traumas over time.
This type of buyer isn’t really addicted to sex at all, they simply have learned to self-medicate their unresolved emotional pain with the good feelings and dopamine rush that comes with the sexual experience. They’re hurting, and the more they hurt, the more they buy.
Pathways to Healing
Sex buyers in our program progress through the following pathway of healing:
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A "John's" Hope: you are not alone, you are in a safe place, and healing is possible.
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A "John's" Healing: individual, group, marital and family counselling combined with independent study of recovery materials and regularly attending recovery group meetings.
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A "John's" Health: mentoring, sponsoring and emotionally supporting others.
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A "John's" Help: paying it forward by providing leadership or financial support.
While we do have the financial resources to subsidize and support your healing journey, we expect you to have some “skin in the game” as well. The men who voluntarily participate in our programs generally contribute, on a case-by-case basis, according to the sliding scale below:
We recommend starting with a two-year commitment which works out to 100 weekly meetings. Typically, everyone starts off with the “Conquer Series”, which last for 10 weeks, then “Seven Pillars of Freedom”, which lasts approximately eight months, followed by one or more of the other workbooks, such as “Intimacy Anorexia”, Living in Freedom Everyday”, “Boundaries”, “Recovery Zone”, or the “Anger Workout Guide” depending on the individual.
Our Recommendation
Finding the Difference
There is a difference between Accountability Groups and Recovery Groups. At the Sexual Integrity Project, we partner with Pure Desire Ministries and adhere to their Recovery Group mindset (on the right-hand side of the table below) because we know it provides the best chance at permanent healing:
